What is Beauty?

What is beauty?

There is no right or wrong way to answer this question. Beauty - physical and non-physical - means something different to each person. The Oxford Dictionary defines beauty as “the quality of being pleasing to the senses or to the mind.” People have different measures and ideas of pleasure so it makes sense that beauty has a variety of meanings. 

However, American culture has a much more narrow definition of beauty. The media bombards men, women, and children with images of supposedly attractive, “beautiful” figures. An American ideal is displayed upon TV ads, billboards, magazines, cartoon characters: everywhere. Beginning at a young age, children unknowingly have an extreme expectation of beauty. Girls overwhelmingly grow up playing with Barbie dolls and watching Disney princess movies while boys save the day with action figures like G.I. Joe and play violent video games. What seems like natural, innocent fun and inherently teaching children that to be beautiful, happy, and successful, girls must be thin and naive and boys must be strong and fearless. 

As children become young adults, they are exposed to more media and increasingly taught who they are supposed to be. Magazines, television, movies, internet ads, billboards: they are inescapable. Each one illustrates the same definition of beauty. Women always appear tall, lean, and thin and men always large, muscular, and powerful. In these advertisements, these are desirable and worthy qualities. 

College and high school students reflected these exact values when asked what is beauty? They answered that beautiful women are pretty, tan, have a lovely smile, and are long and lean while beautiful men are tall, strong, have a six-pack and nice eyes. There is an intense focus on physical characteristics and the conventional American beauty ideal. 

The National Eating Disorder Association reported that one quarter of television advertisements sent out messages about attractiveness and that 47% of girls in grades 5-12 want to lose weight because of magazine pictures. It’s no secret that women loathe themselves each year after watching or hearing about the Victoria’s Secret fashion show or that the majority of Americans make annual resolutions to lose weight and fit into a smaller size. These goals are not about health - they are about appearance. If beauty is up to opinion, then why do people spend so much time, money, and effort promoting and pursuing this distorted definition of beauty?

When asking children what they aspire to be when they grow up, they do not respond with answers like “thin” or “strong” or “pretty.” Instead, they pick inspiring role models like the President or a book or television character who serve  a more wholesome purpose in making the world a better place. Yet as they grow up, teenagers and adults often feel more pressure to strive to be “beautiful” and at times put more value on achieving this than other life goals. There is beauty in the magic of being a firefighter or a teacher. It pleases the mind, the world, and contributes a better world. There is more value in having a beautiful mind and character than an aesthetically pleasing body. Children understand this concept but the media murders this notion every single day at every place Americans look. 

While it is impossible to avoid media images, it is important to be mindful and critical of media images. The media should not define beauty for the individual. 

Fat Talk

The term “fat talk” refers to negative conversation that degrades the body. Daily, women question “does this make me look fat?” or remark that their hips, legs, butt, you name it are too imperfect to be tolerated. Often, people spend so much time criticizing themselves and others that they cannot appreciate the body for what it is and the beauty it possesses. 

American culture even reinforces this behavior. Girls and women are expected to be dissatisfied and critical of themselves and are viewed as vain of they are not. There is a scene in the popular 2004 movie Mean Girls where four friends stand in front of the mirror and tear their perfect bodies apart. Viewers do not even question this behavior as strange or self-hating. Similarly, men and friends anticipate the classic “does this make me look fat?” question and view it as typical female behavior. Even statements like “you lost so much weight you look great!” carry the idea that he or she did not look good before and emphasizes the perceived need to always be thinner. 

All this fat talk is contagious and spreads a negative body image that leaves girls and women feeling like empty failures while destroying any sense of self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth. 

The same phenomenon occurs in the male population. Men and boys put themselves and others down for not being strong and muscular enough. Men, just as much as women, are embarrassed and hesitant about beach trips and the way they look for occasions. They are criticized in media for being scrawny or having a “beer belly” just as often as women are criticized for putting on baby weight or “letting themselves go.”

Instead of being in the fat talk mindset, people should take some time to appreciate the body they do have and everything it does for them. No body is perfect and every body is different. Even models scrutinize their bodies and have to go through intensive photoshopping to achieve the images released to the media. It is unfair that people are pressured to devote so much time and energy to improve bodies that are beautiful treasures the way they are. 

Try complimenting people on things other than they way they look. Celebrate how the body functions. Take a look in the mirror and focus on favorable qualities. It’s empowering to love one’s body and oneself and instills a lasting sense of confidence and worth. Feeling good about the body will inherently motivate and instill healthy behaviors and achieve an all-around better quality of life. Practice and promote a fat talk free conversation.